


Bounded yet Infinite

by Biweatherman



Series: Phil gets sick [1]
Category: Groundhog Day - Minchin/Rubin
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 16:43:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11650626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biweatherman/pseuds/Biweatherman
Summary: All the years Phil lived in the loop start to catch up with him and he falls fatally  ill a year after the loop has ended.





	Bounded yet Infinite

**Author's Note:**

> Just another warning of major character death

It had been about two months since Phil had fallen ill and looking at all the people in the room Phil could tell they knew it wasn’t going to be much longer. As Phil looked around at the sheer amount of people in the room he couldn’t help but feel bittersweet: happy he had been able to find so many friends, sad he had had so little time with them, with less than a year having passed since the loop. There was his mother sitting at his side just grasping onto his hand and he had never felt more grateful for the fact she had stuck with him and accepted his apology for his behaviour and was sorry that he was putting her through so much pain again. There was a FaceTime set up with the people from Punxsutawney who had been unable to leave the town and someone had managed to sneak his two dogs into the hospital. Phil was sure all the staff had turned a blind eye and he was amazed once again at people’s unwarranted kindness. Rita sat on his other side as they played a game of scrabble on her phone. Phil wished he could say he was winning but the disease seemed determined to take not only his body but also his mind and he couldn’t seem to remember any fitting words. He ran a hand through his hair, or the few coarse, greying strands that were left of it as he thought and saw a few strands had come out in his hand which he tried to wipe off in the mattress. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want pity, though he didn’t really desire that, it was more that he hated seeing these people worry about him. It seemed wrong, he thought, he didn’t deserve this love and attention, he deserved nothing, he had barely had time to repent for his previous asshole behaviour, now it seemed he never would, and asking for something from other people felt wrong. He looked back at Ritas phone but still draw a blank on a word and not wanting to worry her he shrugged it off by saying he was letting her win for once but from the sad smile they shared they both knew this wasn’t true. Ned was also there with a thermos of tea offering a comforting shoulder to cry on for anyone who needed it and Phil just wanted him to take a break and allow himself to grieve but Phil knew that wasn’t Neds way. 

As Phil surveyed the room with his mum grabbing one of his hands and Rita holding on to another Phil knew it was time to let go but he didn’t want to. He knew it was selfish, that his will to survive only caused greater suffering to those he cared about, but he was scared. He had joked at the beginning when he started to fall ill that he wasn’t scared, he’d faced death before, he was going to be fine. But in the loop he had nothing now, when it was truly time to go, he had everything. Phil decided to take one last look around, smiling at his wonderful dogs, with the thought of Rita looking after them when he was gone providing some comfort, and then to the window to see the sun again, oh how he was going to miss the warmth and radiance of the sun. Phil saw the amount of people in this room caring for him and felt tremendously lucky and Phil did the impossible. He let go.

 

Rita stared at the plaque placed on the tomb in silence. It had been a week since the funeral, a beautiful event that was packed with people. Rita almost wanted to smile at that, if you had told her a year and a half ago that asshole Connors would have high attendance at his funeral she would have laughed and someone else would have asked if it was just so they would know where to go to spit on his grave. 

But so much had seemed to have changed in this year. She didn’t want to be here, not because she didn’t like Phil, but the opposite. Being here made it real, Phil wasn’t just away and not able to reply to her texts, he was well and truly gone. But Phil had made her promise to look after his family which meant not only his two dogs but also his mother who refused to return home and leave her little boy. So Rita offered to take her to the cemetery in order to say goodbye to her son one last time. Rita just stared at the plaque which held Phils name, two dates which seemed too close together and a simple line which Phil had chosen to go on his stone, a line that truly seemed to sum up the change Phil had made in the last year of his life. The line seemed to represent the shortness of the time Phil had been a changed man for, and yet the great impact Phil had had on everyone he met and also reminded Rita of a time when Phil was at his best. The way Rita wanted to remember Phil, not struggling to breathe in a hospital bed as he withered away before her very eyes but strong, energetic and overflowing with generosity. She read the line over and over again in her head, saying it almost like a mantra, hoping it would bring Phil back to them: ‘Bounded yet infinite’


End file.
